The Beauty of the Softened Heart

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There is much in the world that can keep us apart from the beauty, joy and peace of a softened heart. There are many patterns we hold, many ways of being and relating that have been modelled to us, that can convince us to harden and create defences around the tenderness of our feminine heart.

Yet on this path of feminine restoration, returning to the softened heart that is inherent in our most organic embodiment of Feminine Being, becomes the deeper desire that propels us to move gently through the heavy tethers and shields that keep us defensive, protective and hardened to life.

It is a desire that does not have its roots in ‘getting’ something as a result of this softening. It is not fuelled by wanting to appear a certain way.

It is just simply a deep desire to live a life that is fuelled by joy, innocence, tenderness and love. A desire to not let anything break or impede the sensitivities of the heart that allow us to deeply commune with Life. To perceive life relationally, not transactionally. To see beauty everywhere. To forgive. To love. To deepen into God.

What I have found though, is that we will usually come across countless opportunities where it can feel easier to harden our hearts rather than continuing to softly re-orient our attention towards tending to this deeper feminine connection that is received through the unspoken energies of our heart.

Many of us have found it necessary to protect ourselves in this world, building up ways of being that keep us apart from the deep sensitivities of our feminine hearts.

Because with softness, comes tenderness. And with tenderness, comes openness. And with openness comes a feminine receptivity that can be overwhelming to soften into. With receptivity comes the illumination of our imperfections, the humanness of our being, the emotions, the wounds, the pain, the realities of suffering in this realm that we may have shielded for some time.

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Something I see in a lot through my work is the woman who has shielded herself up with her intellect, her achievements, her resourcefulness, her outward roles, her articulate expression, her responsibilities, her ticking of the external boxes- yet inside holds a deeply sensitive, perceptive, tender heart. A heart that can find it difficult to traverse the hardness of the world if not properly equipped.

Which means that when a woman begins to consciously uncover the deeper essence of her feminine being, she also begins to recover the deeper desires and sensitivities of her heart. Or, more accurately, she finally allows herself to feel and receive these deeper desires and sensitivities without self-judgement or trying to diminish or hide her natural vulnerabilities.

As she strips away the shields, she can find an almost confronting amount of tenderness living within that she can no longer push down.

For me, this brought up many confusions, uncertainties, pain and wounds- as well as beauty, joy and a deep connection with God. It also stirred up many questions and seeming paradoxes, that have slowly revealed and reconciled themselves in my being (with many layers still incomplete of course) as well as informing many of the deeper tenets of my writing/creations/soul expression.

Some of these include ~

How to live from the tenderness of our feminine essence without collapsing into martryring, people pleasing, soul exhaustion or deep internal pain.

How to live from our hearts without becoming overwhelmed and over burdened.

How to remain rooted in love and grace, yet hold discernment around outer circumstances, people, ideas, environments, that may be siphoning our peace.

How to say ‘no’, without creating a hardened shell that prevents us from opening up to what is actually meant for us.

How to feel and care without collapsing into and perpetuating the wounding of others (and ourselves).

How to give and share ourselves, without stumbling into over-function or resentment.

How to feel hurt, disappointed, betrayed, abandoned, without deepening into patterns of defending, striving and giving our energies away to hardness.

How to remain anchored in our being, in our intrinsic value, in our hearts, while we navigate division, uncertainty and fear, as well as individuals and systems who do not value our beliefs and desires.

How to surrender and soften when we have deep patterns teaching us that the only way we can find safety is through controlling, grasping, forcing and certainty.

What I have found amongst these questions, is that there is a deep peace in reclaiming that our feminine hearts are soft and tender, while also acknowledging that there is much room for stumbling in the dark as we learn to traverse these unspoken energies of the heart.

Yet I do believe that each feminine soul has an inner seed within the depths of her being, a feminine sensibility that can never be completely overridden by the hardness that may present itself to her in the extrinsic world. A seed of feminine softness that blooms internally when it is gently tended to, alchemising hardened shields and unfurling outwards into the fullness of the soft, clear heart of true feminine being.

Belinda x

deepen and explore

This reclamation of the softened heart is at the core of my feminine healing work and writings, and is the focus of part 1 of The Feminine Being Collection- Soften.