On the nature of feminine authority (in life, creation and business)

I believe that when a woman trusts the inherent wisdom and desires of her soul, she innately knows (and feels intrinsically drawn to) what she needs to reclaim harmony, radiance, creativity and peace within her own being- an inner reclamation that naturally fuels her outer purpose and contributions in the world, in a way and on a timeline that is unique to her. 

Yet what often stops a woman from trusting this process, is when her own deeper knowing and heart-felt desires do not match the overriding expectations she has been taught to strive towards and live by.

The perceptive, deep-thinking woman that tends to be drawn to the nature of my work, has often come from an exhausting space of trying to evaluate, force and figure out her life and/or business. A focus that sees her scouring her conditioned mind for answers that will see her best meet various ideals of what she has been conditioned to believe as the 'right' way to live and create.

What I have found though, is that most of these seemingly 'right' ways, are sourced from (often highly masculinised) ideals of achievement, expression and success that do not reflect what is truly right for her. They are steeped in the idea that some-one else (or some collective structure/authority) always knows better. That one's inner senses are not to be trusted, that one's deeper gnosis is not worthy unless it can be proven within the realms of rational, intellectual understanding or outer authority that fits neatly into societal boxes.
 

This can be deeply frustrating for the woman walking on the precipice of a deeper surrender into her natural wisdom and feminine heart.
 

If we genuinely observe the world, we notice that there is no clear consensus on anything, really. Even within seemingly clear collective ideals/structures, there are thousands of subsets of varying, and even quite divisive, beliefs.

Within this, the fear of 'not being right' is seeded so deeply as part of our collective culture- yet it is a fear that can never be satiated because ultimately, we will never be 'right' in the eyes of everyone. It is a fear that keeps us looping through unsolvable tensions. Tensions that keep us seeking out an external authority that can finally tell us we are right.

It is a fear that takes us away from trusting the inherent authority that can be found embedded in our own direct experience with life- an authority that is uniquely inbuilt within each of us, gifting us direct wisdom, knowledge and guidance.

This wisdom and knowledge is what I am referring to as our feminine authority- the authority that does not come from what others project on to us, but from the inner world that fuels our own unfolding. An inner wisdom we can only attune to when we begin to clear away the thousands of other voices that encircle our lives and our online spaces, as we come to experience what is actually real and true for our own unique trajectory of existence within the whole.
 

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After centuries of women needing to adhere to the authority of deeply masculinsed collective authority structures, returning to our feminine wisdom can feel confusing, as well as confronting.

I see this reflected in the number of women drawn to this space who deeply struggle with trusting their own path. Women who struggle to trust the uncertainty and imperfection that naturally arises as they soften into the cadences of their own soul.

The hyper masculinised notion of 'one right way' is deeply embedded in our consciousness- which can so easily lead to hyper self-judgement/ciriticism and a striving towards unachievable levels of perfection. It can also lead to a frustrating stagnancy where a woman feels and knows something in her heart, yet doesn't believe she can trust it because it does not hold the authoritarian, externally objective certainty that she has been taught to seek safety within.
 

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When we are conditioned to believe that adhering to hyper masculine values are more important than our feminine aspects, we find that our psyche becomes entrenched in needing to prove our lives to others, instead of living from the authentic heart of our natural being. There is a sense of needing to justify that our subjective experiences are valid, to prove to others that our beliefs and opinions are right, to rapidly externalise or systemise our inner world/senses into something more concrete and understandable. An undercurrent that explains why personal experiences can quickly turn into limiting ideologies, and beliefs can quickly turn into dogmas that must be forced upon others.
 

Within this, I am seeing more and more why we are seeking to slow down, why we are seeking this return to trust and naturalness, why we are seeking a true softening into life, that arises naturally from the centre of one's feminine heart, not from outer authority or collective thought domination.

I am seeing why more and more women creatives and sole/small business creators are disillusioned by the pressure to articulate knowledge and experiences so rapidly just to keep an algorithm or perceived audience happy, and how this creates a heaviness and homogeneity in the online space that does not feel fresh or inspiring to our hearts.

I am seeing how so much of the exhaustion that we experience in life is because our minds are so depleted from the over function of trying to adhere to fundamentally ill-fitting ideals that do not reflect the deeper wisdom of our being. So depleted from being encased in the rush of modern information overload and the subsequent pressure to understand, externalise and articulate the unfoldings of our inner world and subjective ground of our own being. So depleted from running everything through the many lenses of outer perception that we bump up against in the world, as we inadvertently find ourselves forgetting the naturalness and divine dignity of trusting our unique path and finding God within our own hearts.
 

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What I continue to see is that the woman who is drawn towards a softer life that honours her feminine heart, does so because she has usually spent multiple years or decades (or lifetimes!) trying to live a life formed on the authority of what others believe is right for her. A life that results in constant overfunctioning (over thinking, over responsibility, over analysis, over working) in order to protect and hide the more tender truths of what truly fuels her soul. Truths that cannot be pushed upon her by anyone else, but must be sourced from the essence of God that inhabits her own depths. Truths that are there to be genuinely lived, rather than forced onto others.

When we come to the soul-felt knowing that not everything needs to be understood, explained or justified through the lens of our conditioned mind, we make space to move back into the heart of our feminine being.
 

For the woman who has been taught over and over again to believe that her way of being, feeling and believing is only right if it is validated by a collective outer authority, this return to the subjective roots of her own feminine being is deeply important.

It means moving away from the over-responsibility of trying to figure out how the expression of her soul fits objectively and cleanly into the world, and instead trusting that her life is her own unique experience to be embodied. An experience that does not always need to be cleanly articulated, explained or understood, but instead is enough to be felt and lived, deeply and intimately in her own unique way and time. 

Belinda x

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other writings you may enjoy:

You do not always need to be in bloom (reclaiming the internal winter of the feminine soul)

Why the Feminine Doesn’t Need to “Know”