Organic vs Synthetic Femininity (and why femininity and being "feminine" can become another thing to strive for)

I find that the idea of femininity is so deeply engrained in our society.

Ideas like femininity as a trait (submissive, agreeable)

Femininity as a personality (soft, sweet, gentle)

Femininity as a set of roles (homemaker, mother, wife).

Femininity as a way to “get” something (a husband, adoration, validation, provision and seen in the plethora of click bait articles around femininity, like "5 Ways to Use Your Femininity to Get a Man", "How To Be More Feminine" or "Using Your Feminine Energy to Attract More Money.")

Yet these more one-dimensional ways of perceiving femininity, distort the organic nature of femininity and turn it into another ideal, another thing to strive for. It becomes something finite to achieve, something to use as a means to an end, instead of it being an innate and natural part of a woman’s design that can’t be defined by any external manifestations.

In my own life, it was only when the intimate link between femininity and my spiritual nature was revealed to me, that I was able to truly recognise the deep value and truth of the feminine.

I realised that organic femininity is an energetic and spiritual template that is significantly more than a personality, trait or role. A way of being that has a deeper spiritual purpose for us as women.

When we believe that femininity consists only of the synthetic ideals that have been presented in our world, femininity can easily be turned into another label. An ego identity. Another construct that we can use to bolster the self. Something to paste over our hearts (or alternatively, reject as an act of feminist rebellion) to hide from the real, raw and vulnerable process of living from our feminine hearts. Something that gives us another ideal to strive towards. Something that distracts us from the naturalness, beauty and God-infused truth of our inherent design.

I see this in the “Divine Feminine” construct that seems to be the latest iteration of synthetic femininity and spiritual striving- an ideal that has convinced women they need to be flowy-dressed, sage-yielding, yoni-wand waving, abundant 6-figure-business goddesses in order to be feminine (caveat- wearing flowing dresses, having money and using a yoni wand CAN be part of the organic feminine- but they don’t define her.)

In our modern world, particularly in the age of social media, femininity has become a commodity that is sold and marketed to women who have been convinced that there is always more work to do on themselves. That being more ”feminine” is another thing that will get them the lives they desire. They’ll get the man. They’ll attract the money. They’ll have the enviable business and lifestyle. They’ll become more attractive, appealing, charming, magnetising. I’ve walked the delicate tightrope of consistently ensuring I’m not playing into these artificial desires through the way I market my business, as the mirage of synthetic femininity can be so appealing (and marketable).

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The truth is, when a woman attunes to her organic femininity, things often DO shift in the external. But, as is inherent in the feminine, there is a timing and naturalness with this. And in a world that has convinced us that everything should operate on certain timelines, that we should be constantly in bloom, it can feel challenging to have faith in our feminine paths.

Because alongside these shifts and growth, many things also drop away. The distorted/synthetic feminine disintegrates. False desires are no longer available. Unhealthy connections falter or naturally leave your field. Artificial timelines collapse, as what’s not meant for you on organic pathways falls away.

Femininity isn’t an a+b=c process. Femininity isn’t a formulaic strategy that “gets”a woman her desires.

Femininity is the core, the root, the portal into a woman’s true purpose and spiritual essence. Which is something that exists regardless of what is materialising for her in the outside world.

Which means that when we are taught to subtly “use” our femininity as a way to get something in the external world, this organic process is distorted.

Because femininity is a means unto itself, not a means to any end.

A deep state of intimacy with oneself, which allows for a deep receivership with God.

A way of settling into one’s own naturalness, without there needing to be an agenda or outcome.

A purpose that is inherently purposeful not because of any linear result, but because of the activation and refinement that occurs within a woman, that pulls her into true union with God, with Life, with Truth. A feminine purity that isn’t for show, but is instead, a deep and natural devotion to aligning one’s desires and being with the energy of organic Life.

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Which is why my feminine healing work isn’t about setting goals and desires and figuring out how to “get” them. Because this feels empty to a woman in her organic femininity, as she innately knows that this is not what life is about. (yet oh how the world tries to convince us that this is EXACTLY what life is about…)

Any woman tuning into her true feminine essence, inherently knows (even if it’s just a nagging feeling) that basing her life on meeting a set of conditions around what “should” fulfil her, keeps her hooked into artificial desires that convince her away from her natural value, truth and path.

The programs and offerings that I steward through my feminine healing work, are instead about finally having the space to tune into your organic desires, to attune to the nature of your feminine soul, to hear the truth of your natural design and to gently eject yourself from synthetic energies that are keeping you tethered to what’s not true. They are for the woman of depth, integrity and heart, who wants to trust her own nature, build faith in her feminine value and honour her intrinsic path, regardless of what she’s being told she should be, do and have in the external world.

Belinda 💓

want to delve deeper?

Start here.

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