Why charging for your work can feel hard for your feminine soul

There is something that happens in my body the moment I move from natural creation, to thinking about the monetisation of creations.

It is a jarring feeling. A deep grief that this naturalness has become tangled up with economics.

I feel it so deeply, yet it feels hard to put into words (and also, there is the collective hum of the personal development/business coaching space telling me, ‘there is something wrong with you, something you need to heal, fix, figure out, if you feel any weirdness or unnaturalness around money and charging for your work’.

When I am sitting in this energetic shift from natural creation to monetisation, I am suddenly hit with a wave of tightness in my body, an onslaught of shoulds.

If you charge, then it needs to look like this [insert collective ideals about what a business should be]

If you charge, then you need to have a clear, linear solution, pain points and an ideal customer avatar.

If you charge, then you need to make sure there is enough value (according the masculine ideals of value).

If you charge, then it needs to be more structured and perfect than feels natural.

If you charge, it needs to fit the conscious needs of everyone, even if it’s not what your heart is telling you is ‘needed’ at a deeper octave.

If you charge, you need to have it all worked out. You need to know it all.

~

There is a remembrance that I have within, and I have spoken of this before- a time where women were protected and supported and valued for their feminine gifts and natures. Where feminine wisdom, service and heart was necessary and significant. Where the pace was natural and the commodifying of oneself and ones gifts was not needed. Where provision worked differently, in a way that we can scarcely imagine now.

Obviously, our external world has not looked like this for a vey long time (or even ever, in this realm anyway). Protection, support and provision for women has been distorted into control, submission and the idea that women are the ‘lesser’ sex.

The movements to free women from these distorted and harmful structures (that are still very much occurring), gave many women a newly found sense of control and freedom. Freedom to create their own wealth and find success in the working world. Freedoms that are a beautiful thing.

But with this freedom, there has also arisen subtle caveats and unspoken agreements that seep into the subconscious mind…

If you are to create success, you need to deeply compromise the feminine core of you.

You need to contort what feels natural, into what will ‘sell’

You must ‘overcome’ emotionality, tenderness, sensitivity and feminine cycles to achieve, produce, perform, control

You must override the wisdom and rhythms of your body and your heart to keep up, tick boxes and meet KPIs.

You must value external outcomes, money and tangible results above all

~

When I speak of feminine business, I’m not just speaking about women in business. I am not speaking about using the feminine in traditional business structures as a way to create greater success within the masculine paradigm- something that actually cannot be done because as soon as we use the feminine in an extractive way, we distill and distort the very heart of the feminine essence.

Instead, I am speaking of an energetic shift, a resurgence of the value of the feminine. Where we do not have to distort our natural selves and our organic pace for the sake of income. Where we do not have to contort our feminine gifts into a masculine-shaped expression, but instead our femininity and everything that it holds and offers, is something that is of value. Where relationship, connection and non-linear support are vital currencies that we are richly and naturally compensated for. Where we create a gentle rebellion against the dehumanisation of our world- not through trying to push through distorted masculine structures, but through actively staying devoted to our naturalness, heart and femininity, and allowing this to naturally re-texturise the tangible structures of the world.

~

Something that comes up a lot for me, is the knowing that when something has not been modelled, our subconscious inherently believes that it is not possible.

Which is what keeps us cycling in old ways, patterns and beliefs. Because moving into something different is scary, when we don’t have the certainty of knowing that it ‘works’.

We stay tethered to masculine shields and structures, because we do not yet trust that our feminine natures are enough.

The thing is, we need to go first with trusting our feminine natures in business. Trusting, and having faith, and knowing that many predominant collective strories will of course convince us that we can’t soften into this naturalness- but that doesn’t mean we need to listen to these stories.

Trusting that not everyone will require or understand or see the worth in our feminine medicine right now, and that’s okay.

Trusting that we don’t need to know all the steps.

Trusting that there are other women walking this path. Trusting that we are allowed to doubt, and falter, and feel.

Trusting that there is always support available for what is natural and true.

~

So back to this feeling I get when moving from natural creation to monetisation.

The root of it is not about the money per se, but rather, is about all of the things that I believe go along with charging.

It is about feeling that the feminine is not enough. That it is audacious to charge for the feminine attributes and gifts that our collective structures still believe should be free. That if I run a business, I automatically need to diminish and override my deeper nature.

I have a deep sense (and have since the inception of my business) that for women on this path, our true success lies in how deeply we trust and embody our feminine nature in our business. How deeply we can relate to the naturally masculine aspects of business, and of Life, without exploiting our feminine cores or thinking that we have to somehow neutralise and de-polarise ourselves to fit into the more sterile construct of ‘we are all equally masculine and feminine’- leading us to believe that we just need to ‘step into our masculine’ to succeed in business.

For the woman who feels this deep connection to honouring her feminine nature (whether this is a consciously expressed desire or an unconscious yearning) business success is not found through the avenues she’s been taught are ‘the way.’

Instead, she is paving her own way, feeling through her body and heart, trusting in her feminine gifts and softening into the inherent value and multi-faceted textures of who she is.

Belinda x

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Other writings + resources you might like to explore

Growing a Business Without Social Media

Receptive vs penetrative marketing (there is a gentler way to get your business seen online)

Why you may be struggling to figure out your "ideal" client (and what to do instead)

How masculine achievement culture impacts the feminine soul