Connection vs extraction in business (and how this impacts your results, and your feminine heart)

The traditional business world often pulls us into believing that if we can just find the right strategy, then we will be successful in our businesses. That there are certain tactics and formulas that we need to implement, in order to create the right results.

Now, of course there is nothing wrong with wanting to create a certain amount of money in our businesses, and seeking out ways to help us do this more effectively.

Yet as feminine beings in business, allowing our focus to be pulled too heavily this way can draw us into a way of approaching business that becomes extractive, rather than connective.

What this means, is that instead of being fuelled by heart-based connection (to our service, to our creativity, to ourselves, to God), we subtly veer towards a mind-focused ‘I need to do this, so I can get that’ way of interacting with our business.

A simple example- giving away something free (eg an ebook, a video, a mini-course) with the intent that “I am going to convert such-and-such amount of people into paying customers through this free resource” is an extractive mindset.

Whereas giving away something for free with the mindset, ‘This will help my potential clients and customers deepen into my work, get to know me better, and decide if my work is right for them- all while offering them something valuable to take away, even if they never become paying customers’ is a connective mindset.

The action is exactly the same, but the energy and heart of it is completely different. In the first instance, we are seeking to extract, in the second, we are seeking connect.

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Extraction has a distinct energy to it that feels like tightness, clenching and control. It makes us feel very attached to outcomes and results and can leave us feeling disheartened (and sometimes even resentful) if we do not see the results that we were hoping for from a certain action or strategy.

When we extract, we are closed off to possibility, and remain tethered to our results happening in a certain way.

Whereas when we connect, we are open to results occurring in our business in a multitude of different ways- ways that we never could have strategised.

Another thing that tends to happen when we fall into an extractive mindset, is we tend to then attract extractive customers and clients. People who are seeking to take, rather than receive from you (these are very different energetics). People who unconsciously see you as a commodity, rather than a human.

This is something that also happens in workplaces, where if bosses approach leadership in an extractive way, it encourages employees to see work in this way too. The workplace then becomes a place of transaction, where employees often feel undervalued and over worked- subsequently finding that they are not inspired and intrinsically motivated to share their gifts. (I explore this in the Woman of Value Course, because being part of extractive environments like this can actually cause deep grief and shields around the feminine heart).

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As feminine souls, I have found that we thrive when we base our business around connection, and we wither when we fall into extraction.

Which means that when we are taught to focus on strategy as a “tactic”, without grounding it in connection, integrity and heart, we feel like something is off. We expend energy in a way that is not in alignment with our deeper nature and feminine heart.

Trying to relate to our business from this place of extraction, feels deeply uninspiring and adds a heaviness to our business, which is often then reflected in a lack of results- regardless of how perfectly we have executed a particular strategy, or how much effort we have put into a particular action.

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One of the biggest shifts that allows a feminine-essenced woman to run a business in a way that is sustainable and nourishing to her feminine nature, is to soften into true connection with her own heart, and the heart of her business. From here, she can take action from a place that feels generous, creative and true, rather than from a place of tactic and control.

This is something that does not always feel simple, I know. We have been taught to view strategy and tactic as tangible and real, whereas heart and connection feels flimsy and unseen. We have also been taught that heart and connection means no boundaries, over delivering and being available and open all the time (this is a whole other conversation for another time!)

Yet connection goes far beyond the physical ways we are connecting and being available for people in our business. It is about the deeper relationship we have with our hearts. It is about our trust, our faith and our ability to stay open, willing and curious, even if things do not go the way we thought they would. It is about staying open to possibilities, instead of being constrained by specific outcomes.

I have found that when we relate to our businesses through connection, not extraction, we not only magnetise the right people to our business, but we feel inspired and energised to keep taking action. We do things in a way that feels enlivening and congruent with who we are- naturally leading us to the clients, customers and results that we are truly seeking, without compromising our feminine integrity and heart.

Belinda x

Learn more

If you’re interested in moving into a more heart-based way of connecting with your business, and naturally magnetising the right clients to your work, I suggest exploring Content that Connects .

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