Softening, instead of striving (and why softness doesn't equal weakness)

When we begin to unravel the shields that keep our heart (seemingly) protected- shields like perfectionism, control, striving, people pleasing, micromanaging performing, pushing and forcing- we find that the softened heart can feel everything.

And because we haven’t been taught how to gently hold our natural sensitivities, how to be both protected and tender both at once, we struggle to believe that it’s safe to rest in this state of tender openness.

We think that our tenderness is a weakness, and in this, we’re subtly convinced to keep the barriers around our heart alive.

There is so much out there teaching women to “rise”, telling us that we can be more, do more, and have more.

Yet so often, this can be used as another shield to keep a woman from softening into the vulnerability of her heart.

The push-pull of this is something that I sense a lot right now.

A yearning to soften, yet the loud voices of our collective telling us we’re weak, or silly, for stopping the striving.

~

I’ve learnt though, that the natural way of the feminine is always softening first. From this, there is a natural emergence of whatever it is that seeks to unfold. And sometimes this is rising and achieving and doing, yet sometimes this is sinking into the void of Being- resting, waiting, unraveling.

So if you’re currently feeling weak, or less than, for not keeping up with the collective rush that tells you to continue striving, doing and achieving, I see you.

I know how exposed we can feel when we dissolve the shields and allow ourselves to see what naturally emerges.

I know how tender it feels to allow ourselves to finally soften and rest.

Yet what I have found, is that doing and achieving from a place of hardness, creates more hardness, more shields and more separation from the feminine core.

Whereas the doing and achieving that arises from a softened heart, reflects the true tenderness and purpose of the feminine nature.

Belinda x