People Pleasing and Healing the Need To Prove Yourself

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The message to women has so often been that we need to somehow prove their value in relation to others.

And if you’re a sensitive, feminine soul you’re usually a deeply relationally-oriented being. Which means that the desire to have others approve of you is also incredibly natural.

The problem is, when you feel the perceptions of others so deeply, it can be easy to fall into patterns that cause you to abandon yourself, as you start subconsciously believing that your value can only be found in the perspectives of the external world.

Our subconscious programming

Many of the ideals and structures in our world are heavily masculine-oriented, which means that from an early age we’re taught that our value is based on outcomes, achievements and our external qualities. .

As we grow up in the world, we’re taught to prove ourselves to others to earn love, approval and validation. To mould our behaviour to fit the expectations of others.

And while this is a useful social tool when our modelling is healthy and supports our true essence, the reality is that our world doesn’t nurture the feminine very well- which causes an unconscious rejection of our own feminine essence. This means that instead of feeling our natural feminine value, we seek outside of ourselves to compensate for this self-rejection through the approval and validation of others….

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If you’d like to read more, the rest of this writing is now available in the ‘Soften & Bloom’ ebook.

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