Blocked feminine energy is not uncommon in a world that deeply reveres the masculine aspects of life (outward, tangible, linear, objective) and tends to diminish the feminine aspects (feeling-based, subjective, intangible, intrinsic). For a woman with a feminine core, this can have a deep impact on her energy, heart and deeper purpose and fulfilment.

In my feminine healing work, I have found that most women are taught to neglect, judge or diminish the significance of their feminine energy- often leading to living a life that does not support their natural energies and design. I observed this in my own life, and the more women I work with, the more I realise how common this way of diminishing our feminine energy really is.

The norm for many of us is to align with the masculine-oriented energies of the world- living, working and relating from this space, and undermining the naturalness and tender power of our feminine natures.

When I use the word blocked energy, this means that we have erected a resistance towards accepting and allowing these energies to flow within our being. Usually, this is a conditioned response that we develop as we observe what is approved of and rewarded in the world.

Often, a woman who orients towards her masculine energies and undermines her feminine core, can see great success and approval in the world because of how much of our world is structured to reward and celebrate a more masculine-oriented path.

Yet when we neglect the feminine energies and desires that sit at the core of our being, there is a deeper cost. There is an abandoning of the soul, a diminishment of the natural self and a disconnection to the spiritual heart of one’s deeper being.

If this feels familiar, read on to explore 5 signs of blocked feminine energy, and how to unravel these from the roots.

5 signs of blocked feminine energy

1. You feel an emptiness or loneliness that you can’t quite explain, even if you’re meeting the expectations and measures of success that you’ve been told should make you happy.

Many of my clients speak of this emptiness, even when they’re outwardly successful according to the standards they’ve been taught mean success in the world.

This sense of emptiness often indicates a separation from your deeper nature. As women, often this can mean a separation from your heart, your feminine essence and your ability to be received and loved fully, as your deepest self. Nothing we do or have in the external world can replace this inner resourcing, which is our natural God-infused template.

We often understand and long for this at a deeper level, even when the conditioned self has been taught to look for this feeling from the people, situations and things around us. It is as longing that slowly (or sometimes quite suddenly) pierces through the mirage of external success and approval that we’ve been taught to strive for, and infuses in us a deep desire to reclaim the truth of the feminine heart.

2. You feel like you’re only valuable if you’re achieving or doing something that can be externally validated.

This is a deeply rooted pattern held within our masculine-oriented culture of doing, fixing and solving. I’ve termed it the “Productivity Program” with clients, as it’s a subconscious program most of us are taught to take on through education systems rooted in industrialisation and economic imperative. It convinces you that you need to always be doing, producing or achieving something externally to prove your worth, rather than feeling inherently valuable for being you.

Doing, producing and achieving are of course natural expressions in our lives, yet we are usually rushed and pushed into producing at a rate that is not natural, and often disembodied. We are also taught to do things predominantly for the sake of visible, external results or validation- which often comes at the expense of our deeper feminine desires and knowing.

This can cause a deep inner turmoil because our feminine knows that this single-minded focus on achievement and external outcome compromises the integrity of her heart and the truth of her deeper and more relationally-based essence.

It keeps women in cycles of doing things that exhaust, overwhelm and shatter their trust in their feminine essence. And it causes a deep grief around the heart, as women begin to feel like they are disposable commodities in the world, rather than being valued for their feminine gifts and natural selves.

3. You feel trapped in the expectations of others, constantly giving to, supporting and managing the needs and perceptions of others (often at the expense of your own needs and desires).

This stems mainly from two sets of conditioned beliefs that we are taught to accept in the world.

First, the martyr program, which is based on the subconscious belief that we are only of value if we are useful to some-one else.

This program is heavily perpetuated in our culture, especially if you’re a woman (and even more so if you’re a mother). It leads to over giving, perfectionism, and feeling responsible for those who we cannot (and do not need to) change, which often results in resentment, exhaustion and guilt.

The next one is the co-dependency program, which is based on the subconscious belief that our value is dependent on whether others approve of us.

This program leads us to mould ourselves into who we think we need to be so we can be loved and validated by others. This can lead to people pleasing, manipulation and neglecting our own purpose, passions and desires. It can also make us chase and accept unhealthy or controlling relationships that don’t allow us to be ourselves (narcissistic relationships usually have their roots in this program).

My clients are capable, giving and kind-hearted, and so these subconscious programs can feel challenging to shift as there is an element of truth to them. (eg. a woman does naturally want to offer her kindness, service and love to others). However, when this kindness and service isn’t coming from the feminine essence, and instead is coming from a proving, striving or fixing energy, it backfires and becomes exhausting, counterproductive (and often subtly manipulative).

4. You think you have to do it all alone, being over controlling, striving for perfection or feeling guilty when asking for and receiving support.

This is an extension of the martyr program, but also indicates a distrust of life. The feminine feels unsafe to receive as she has been hurt and betrayed in the past when she’s opened herself up to others or when she’s sought support and has been rejected. Doing it all herself feels easier (and safer), because it protects her from disappointment.

This is the same with perfectionism. If a woman is perfect, she subconsciously believes that she won’t be rejected or hurt. If she can control everything around her and make everything perfect, then she won’t have to face the discomfort, pain and vulnerability of not getting her needs met.

5. You feel purposeless, disconnected from your body or creatively blocked (mindlessly scrolling and consuming or distracting yourself with work or other commitments that don’t truly fulfil you)

This is a result of feeling unsafe to express and feel your deeper emotions and desires. When we’re taught that our feelings are not allowed, or that our desires are selfish, unrealistic or too much, the feminine shuts down and blocks us from feeling or acknowledging our true desires- which in turn shuts off our creative power and ability to enjoy pleasure, joy and ease.

Emotions become overwhelming or manipulative, instead of natural magnifiers of our experience that connect us more deeply to life.

Often, when a woman has forced down her emotions for too long, they erupt in ways that cause even more shame and guilt, hurting relationships in the process. Part of healing and allowing the feminine essence, is learning how to feel safe with emotions, allowing them to be felt and processed naturally into feminine maturity.

If you’re a woman feeling any of these signs of blocked feminine energy, it can feel hard to know how to find respite. The masculine way of being is so embedded in our society that it can feel challenging (and often unsafe) to relax into our feminine essence.

One of the simplest ways to start breaking these patterns, is through awareness. By gently enquiring into and becoming aware of the belief systems you’ve been subconsciously taught to accept, you can choose to actively soften into a different way.

I teach women to explore these beliefs, not from a place of needing to change and fix themselves, but from a place of re-establishing a loving and supportive relationship with their natural selves and deeper feminine essence.

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