Choosing Not to Sell Your Feminine Soul on Social Media to Grow a Business
As feminine women, our organic desires are for agenda-less connection, naturalness, softness, creative flow, soul integrity, artistry and easeful provision. Things that can often feel incompatible with the masculine-led business matrices of our current world.
So it makes sense that we would search for different ways to do things, more in line with our inherent feminine natures. What I've noticed through this desire though, is a trend of taking the feminine naturalness of sharing, connecting and being vulnerable, and turning it into a way of “doing” business.
The most overt way that this has shown up is in the way that women have been subtly convinced that they need to constantly share their lives on social media, in order to sell their work. A subtle energetic of compromising the sacred energy of our intimate processes, because we've been hooked into a paradigm that tells us that this is the only way the feminine can actually succeed in business.
And while this may be rooted in an overall genuine and natural desire to connect, serve others and grow a business, it’s also set the tone for women (especially those in the coaching, healing and spiritual business space), to base their businesses on sharing their personal lives and vulnerabilities, consistently and publicly online via social media.
Building a business in this way has been glorified to women, which has led many to think that they should be using social media like this if they’re to have success.
I’ve already written about the impact that feeling constantly tethered to social media can have on a women’s feminine essence. And this impact can become even more prominent when a woman thinks she has to use social media in a certain way for business success.
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I’ve explored this resistance significantly, as being in online business has brought the energetics of social media directly into my sphere. I began using Instagram to share my writing when I started Soul and Self as a blog (after being off all social media for over 5 years).
Yet it was when I transitioned my blog into a business that I really started to question the platform, as I began to gain insight into how using social media as a vehicle for your business growth can actually feel within the feminine energy system.
And while ebbing and flowing in my opinion of social media as a whole, I did keep returning to the same perceptions around the sharing/being vulnerable on these platforms.
It just didn’t feel good to my soul.
I’m so much happier with less information, with sharing myself in more private spaces.
I don’t want to have to constantly share my lifestyle as a selling point for my business, because I enjoy being predominantly phone free in my leisure time.
I value integrating and allowing my personal experiences to marinate for some time, before sharing them (if at all).
And I don’t enjoy the energies and intentions of certain social media platforms.
I don’t enjoy the frenetic pace of so much different micro-content in the one space, and I don’t want to participate in the scrolling culture that has ensued from this.
I like reading books and long and meandering blog articles, and buying work from people where I can go deeper.
I like intentionally seeking out people and businesses, delving into their websites, or signing up for their email updates.
I like trusting that the divine intelligence of God will organically direct me to who and what is meant for me, at the right time.
I like feeling connected to my own life and business, without knowing what so many other people are doing.
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For me, social media was always more of a “I should do this”, rather than an “I desire to do this.”
And this idea of “shoulds” is significant for the feminine, because to her, the outcome is always secondary to the energy infused within the action. So when we’re taking actions from a place of ‘should’, we’re actively depleting our feminine essence, and thus, our magnetism.
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For me it also comes back to how I see my business running long term and the desires I have for how I share my work.
Do I want to be beholden to a social media platform for my income?
Do I want to have to always share myself, express my vulnerabilities publicly or curate an image of my lifestyle, just to make my work more appealing or relatable?
Do I want to play into a scrolling culture of over consumption and micro-infomation that encourages others to be constantly seeking the next dopamine hit via a slightly voyeuristic look into someone else’s life?
Did I leave the normal work hustle, only to become hooked into another type of hustle- a place that looks like freedom but actually pulls me into a different type of grind of constant sharing and external validation?
Do I want to be scrolling and creating fast food content, at the expense of resting, spending time in nature and connecting with life? (because let’s be honest- the most popularised social medias ARE designed to be intentionally addictive, taking us out of our own bodies, wisdom and connection to God).
The answer to these is a resounding no.
As well as this, I have a deep awareness of my own propensity to pick up on the subtle energies of others, which on social media can feel overwhelming. It makes me keenly aware of how easily I can lose myself in subconscious projections, normalised expectations and energetic hooks, even through a screen.
I think for many of us who are sensitive souls, untangling from the need to be validated and approved of through the eyes of others is a big part of finding our own personal value, but also the value of our business. And social media, with its likes, and followers and the constant stream of busy, micro-information, can often steer us off this path of inner approval and back into a stream of outer perception, people pleasing and distilling our true message.
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Yet even with this awareness, it can still feel easy to believe that using social media in this way is a necessity in the online business space. It’s reinforced everywhere on social media platforms, online business circles and in our collective consciousness.
Which is why I’ve actively cleared my field of this belief. Otherwise, I know I’ll remain tethered to this false paradigm of success that relies on me compromising and commodifying my feminine soul, energy and essence.
Right now, I’m holding an openness and receptivity towards using social media in a way that feels natural and true in the future. But for now, I don’t feel the need to be on it at all.
And in doing so, I’m able to hold the energy for others to also break free of this belief that we can only sell our feminine-led work via sharing ourselves on social media platforms.
Belinda 💓
hi, i’m belinda
Writer and founder of Soul & Self, an online space for women to reclaim their feminine nature, recognise their true value and restore their natural gifts, pace and path. If you’re a deep-hearted woman wanting to soften into your femininity, a gentle solopreneur craving respite from the ‘shoulds’ of the business world, or a feminine creative longing to share and sell your gifts in a softer way, you’re in the right place. Start here.