Gentle marketing and why your ‘quiet community’ are so important to your business (a vital perspective shift to free you from the pressures of social media engagement)
Something that I observe in the women I work with who are seeking out softer marketing and visibility strategies, is that the online business space has often taught them that outward engagement and constant interaction with an audience/community on social media is central to business success.
This seems particularly true in the realm of female solopreneurship and more creative/personal businesses, where the celebrated template to create visibility, connection and engagement with potential customers and clients lies in building a thriving social media presence and community.
Yet what about those gentler souls in business who are seeking ways of marketing and creating community that do not require such an outward, active focus on social media?
A big part of my feminine business philosophy is about honouring and trusting in the less externalised, softer textures of feminine being- so it makes sense that many of the women drawn to my work are craving softer ways of cultivating community, connection and online visibility. Ways of sharing and connecting online that are not overpowered by so many energies and so much noise.
Yet because of the persistent mirage of social media engagement being the barometer of success and visibility, many feminine-hearted creators are believing that it is not enough to have a quieter community/audience. That connection and engagement has to be public and outwardly visible if it is to equal business success.
What I have found is that when marketing is centered around social media platforms that depend on high and constant levels of engagement to create successful visibility, two things often happen.
Firstly, an enormous amount of energy can be spent on social media platforms in order to cultivate this outward engagement- without actually feeling aligned or inspired about doing so and often at the expense of other important areas of business and creativity. Alongside this, much time and energy can also be siphoned through scrolling others’ content, often leading to self-doubt, comparison and contortion of one’s unique expression.
Secondly, it can become very easy to focus predominantly on the people who respond outwardly to your content. To focus on comments and engagement, and think that those who are reaching out and responding to your content are the only people connecting and engaging with your business. To become disillusioned or think that your work is not enough if you are not receiving the ‘right’ level of engagement.
And while of course there is a sense of appreciation, validation and connection that is fostered when people outwardly comment on your work, I notice that this focus on outward engagement can mean forgetting that much of your audience are actually ‘quiet community’- people who are quietly receiving, connecting with and investing in your work without outwardly engaging with you or your content.
If you are seeking to develop confidence and belief in a gentler approach to marketing and visibility, I have found that one of the most powerful perspective shifts you can make is to become aware of the validity and impact of your ‘quiet community.’
Your quiet community are the people who have discovered your business and are gently and independently exploring what you offer and deciphering if it is a good fit for them. They are the people who are enjoying perusing or receiving your content, as their awareness and trust of your business steadily grows. They are the people who have been actively seeking out what you offer, so are ready to purchase without any need to connect, comment or respond to your content.
When you remember that your quiet community is a large part of your business ecosystem, it makes it much easier to soften into the idea that you do not need to be traditionally ‘visible’ and always creating very outward community and connection in order to be successful as an online creator/business.
What I have found in my conversations with the gentle, feminine creators I work with, is that it can feel disconcerting at first to trust the quieter, calmer nature of less outward approaches to visibility.
Social media is inherently designed to create dopamine hits of instant gratification and outward validation, and so it can take some internal adjusting when adopting gentler marketing strategies that do not offer this. The type of quieter engagement that you receive from softer strategies that don’t rely on social media can tend to feel less validating at first.
It can feel harder to trust the unseen nature of the ‘quiet community.’
To trust that engagement is happening behind the scenes.
To trust that people are connecting with your business, even if they do not outwardly signal this.
It can feel like you are not doing enough if you choose to nurture a quieter, often unspoken sense of community and connection with your audience. It can feel discouraging or as though your business is not successful if your marketing does not elicit immediate comments and outer validation in response to what you share.
Yet actually, it is important to remember that regardless of whether you use social media or not, a large proportion of your audience are likely people who you do not hear from. This is even more likely if what you are offering through your business resonates with those who are more inward, gentle, sensitive or private.
So, who are your ‘quiet community’?
Your quiet community are full of souls who prefer to observe, read, watch, listen and take in content quietly.
They do not tend to make themselves known or offer comments on social media (or even be active on social media!) and may not in fact feel comfortable adding to the conversation or engaging with your work in a public way.
They do not necessarily need to be actively ‘in community’ with you, but organically find support and a gentle sense of belonging through receiving what you share and offer.
Often, they are the souls who feel beyond words, and inherently connect with the invisible layers and values that lie beyond the commodity of your business.
And while your quiet community may not offer you external validation or increased engagement on social media, your quiet community are most certainly supporting your business.
They privately recommend/refer you to a friend. They read and re-read your articles (or watch your videos/listen to your podcast). They regularly visit your website or seek out your social media. They actively choose to receive your content in ways that move beyond scrolling. They support your work in private ways that hold none of the personal agenda that can seep into the public sphere of online community. They often become your best and most frequently-returning customers and clients.
Your quiet community are not driven and overly influenced by social proof or online hype, but through connection, resonance and a true desire for what you offer (and this goes beyond the product/service that you offer and into the underlying values and message that your share- many people may not be ready to invest in a paid product or service, but they are still very much invested in the deeper message/s you are sharing).
Your quiet community builds trust with you in a naturally-paced way- a way that can feel different to the rushed familiarity that para-social marketing on social media elicits. Yet it is a trust that feels organic and intentional. Authentic and considered. True and unrushed.
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I deeply value and resonate with those who make up the quiet community within my own business. Because of both the nature of my work and the fact that I’m not active on social media and don’t have a very ‘outward’ community, I have naturally developed a deep attunement to my quiet community. I honour their pace and their sensitivities and the quiet way they connect with my content.
I believe that there are many people- including myself- who find the noise of social media (and any platform that is based on a lot of community interaction and opinion) too intense, so I enjoy sharing my work in ways that feel a bit quieter and not dependent on anything other than people discovering, receiving and privately engaging with what I offer in their own pace and time.
I quite regularly receive emails starting off with “I don’t normally reach out like this but..…” followed by a lovely reflection, share or words of gratitude. This type of gentler connection from those who are perhaps not as outwardly inclined feels so much more nourishing and inspiring to me personally than hundreds of quick emojis on a social media post.
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In the noisy world of online business it can be easy to become overwhelmed by what things look like from the outside.
To become overwhelmed thinking you need to create a thriving and engaged community on social media (or anywhere) to be successful.
But running a gentle, receptive business means being able to create validation in softer ways- ways that encompass the value and impact of your quiet community as a vital part of your business ecosystem. Ways that allow you to create a less outwardly facing idea of community and connection for your business that feels gentle and manageable to your feminine soul. Ways that allow you to move away from the dopamine-fuelled world of quick online connection, and into a space that honours your desire for authentic connection, natural business and gentle visibility.
Belinda x
hi, i’m belinda
Writer and founder of Soul & Self, an online space for women to reclaim their feminine nature, recognise their true value and restore their natural gifts, pace and path. If you’re a deep-hearted woman wanting to soften into your femininity, a gentle solopreneur craving respite from the ‘shoulds’ of the business world, or a feminine creative longing to share and sell your gifts in a softer way, you’re in the right place. Start here.