3 subconscious programs that can prevent you from embodying your feminine value and softening into the path that is right for you

---

There are three key collective programs that so often keep a woman apart from her deeper nature, instead keeping her striving within a life and way of being that was never meant for her.

Collective programs refer to the beliefs that are created within societies that people (and in this case women in particular) are subconsciously primed to adopt and therefore live from.

When these collective programs are distorted (usually to suit the agendas of specific groups or sectors of society), a woman no longer feels safe to express her true nature, gifts and path.

Instead, she remains tethered to the external expectations of the world, living to uphold the agendas of others, rather than remembering that her deepest gift and feminine power is in reclaiming her true essence and living from the naturalness and truth of her soul .

She loses her connection with her true nature, and instead seeks to be sourced through the approval of the world.

She is conditioned into believing that her worth is dependent upon whether she is able to adhere to these collective programs.

In particular, there are 3 subconscious programs that tend to be the most detrimental to a woman’s ability to live as her natural self.

By becoming aware of these, a woman begins the process of rediscovering what lies beneath this conditioning, as she reclaims her own essence and re-orients to the path that is right for her.

1. The Productivity Program

This program is the subconscious belief that your worth is determined by what you produce, achieve and do in the world. 

This keeps a woman striving to prove herself extrinsically, which so often keeps her apart from her internal process of connecting to her heart.

She focuses on doing, achieving and producing, usually at the expense of her natural pace and feminine soul.

She stops creating and expressing from a place of inner unfolding, and instead becomes tethered to proving herself to the outer world, via her achievements, work and how much (and often how quickly) she can produce.  

2. The Co-dependency Program 

This program is the subconscious belief that your worth lies in how other people perceive you- in particular, whether they approve of you.

This causes a woman to abandon her soul and disconnect from her body, as she is conditioned to view herself predominantly through the lens of the outer world.

The co-dependency program isn’t about not needing people. Instead, it’s about a woman becoming stuck in the approval of others to define her worth, at the expense of her deeper soul expression.

When this happens, a woman feels unable to live freely as who she’s designed to be, and instead remains anchored to the opinions of others and the energies of the external world. She no longer feels safe to rest in the truth of her inherent value, and may neglect her purpose and path to gain external approval.

3. The Martyr Program

This program is the subconscious belief that your worth is determined by how much you can give, save, fix and solve.

This causes a woman to lose herself in the needs and emotions of others. Not in a way that is in natural service to others, but in a compensatory way, to try to emulate the true, divinely-sourced sense of value she has been conditioned out of believing in. She unconsciously does things as a way to gain self-approval, martyring herself in an unhealthy way that leads to a life of obligation and ‘shoulds’ that disconnect her from her naturalness and organic path. 

She often becomes the ‘fixer’ and struggles to see her value unless she’s solving a problem for some-one else. (This also can be turned inward, where she only feels valuable when she’s relentlessly working on fixing herself/ becoming a ‘better’ person).

~

The way that these subconscious programs work, means that they sit within our energetic bodies. This is why we can find it difficult to actually live in a way that supports our feminine soul, even if this is what the conscious mind desires. 

For example, a lot of women leave the traditional workplace because of a natural longing to detach from the grind of unhealthy production and relentless doing (the result of our collective Productivity Program).

However, this program still remains running internally, even though on the outside a woman is no longer practically anchored into that way of being. 

This is something that so often occurs in the women’s entrepreneurial space. Even though a woman is no longer working within the pace and expectations of a formal workplace, the internalised energies continue to convince a woman that she needs to play out this productivity program in her own business.

These subconscious patterns are so significant, as they diminish a woman’s capacity for trust. 

Because when a woman is unconsciously hooked into the validation and approval of those around her she’s unable to trust in her deeper nature.

She devalues her natural gifts, diminishes her organic pace, and places her value in the hands of others.

She continues to internalise the perceptions that she’s been taught to take on from distortions in society, instead of feeling safe to soften into her natural self.

~

Lately, these three subconscious programs (co-dependency, martyr and productivity) have been coming up so much in conversations and healings with women.

Much of the time, it’s these three programs that have weaved their way into all expressions of our lives- from love, to relationship, to business, to spirituality.

When we become aware of these programs, we can gently unravel these inner energetics, so we’re no longer being unconsciously run by the projections of the external world.

With the new space that’s created in our field, we can access the guidance and trust needed to move forward in our lives in a way that is supportive of our feminine soul and deeper purpose.

Belinda x

explore more writings

The Feminine Art of Softening

Signs You’re a Woman Being Called Back to Your Feminine Essence